Night Terrors.
Seriously. I cannot explain what a night terror is. And I’m (this) close to videoing George when he has one. But can’t bring myself to publish that for the whole world to see.
A night terror is not a nightmare. I can only explain it as something that is so uncontrolled by the child. And there’s nothing a parent can do to control it either.
A nightmare is simply a scare that the child has and is comforted by seeing and being held by their parent.
I looked up the definition of a Night Terror and found that WebMD has a pretty good explanation of it:
A typical night terror episode usually begins approximately 90 minutes after falling asleep. The child sits up in bed and screams, appearing awake but is confused, disoriented, and unresponsive to stimuli. Although the child seems to be awake, the child does not seem to be aware of the parents’ presence and usually does not talk. The child may thrash around in bed and does not respond to comforting by the parents.
Knowing this and also that a night terror is a sleep disorder has helped me tremendously. Just knowing what George was doing was called a Night Terror helped me. It helped me realize its not me. That I’m not exaggerating these episodes.
I had asked about night terrors on Facebook and got an overwhelming response of others that are going through (or have gone through) the same episodes with a child, and got lots of tips on how they’ve dealt with the behavior, too. I’ve tried some of these and will pass along how I’ve learned to cope.
I hope this will help someone else that is going through these same episodes.
So, here I am. Going to pass on advice, that’s not really advice, but only the knowledge of what a Night Terror is and how we are learning to cope with it.
Here’s our story of night terrors, before I knew they were night terrors:
George wakes up in the middle of the night. Okay, not the middle of the night. Roughly 2 or 3 hours into his sleep. Which is also roughly when I go to bed, or about an hour into my sleep.
He screams immediately. Thrashing immediately.
If I touch him, worse.
If I pick him up, he arches his back and throws himself around. I feel like I’ll break him if I continue to hold him.
I lay him down on the floor, he trashes out of control.
He runs into the wall, or the radiator, or whatever is ‘behind’ him, because as he thrashes himself, he pushes himself backwards.
I pick him up again, this time holding him super tight and trying to sing to him, hoping to calm him down.
More screams. And my arms are extremely sore from holding on so tight.
I needed a rest. But my child is screaming.
This usually went on for at least 45 minutes if not an hour or an hour and a half. With my attempts of trying to calm him down with absolutely no luck at all. Until I finally give in and just let him lay on the floor by himself, thrashing wildly until he’s finally given in to his own tiredness and falls back asleep.
Fast forward to now.
The turning point? George’s 18 month checkup where I asked the doctor about these episodes. I felt like I was complaining about a child that just won’t sleep at night. But it was fresh in my mind at this appointment because it had just happened two nights before. So I went ahead and told her what was going on.
Turns out, its a night terror. She handed me some information sheets on both night terrors and nightmares. Definitely a night terror.
Our new approach, after knowing what a night terror is, and knowing that there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop a night terror. You just need to let it run its course.
When George first wakes screaming, I go to his room and I do attempt to hold him still, in case its not one of those episodes. When I find that he resists me holding him, I lay him down on the floor. Let him do his thing.
I lay next to him, but careful not to touch him.
If I talk, I talk very calmly and quietly.
I also turn on his lamp, to allow some light, to hopefully arouse him out of his sleep.
If my husband’s around during an episode (he works nights), he’ll lay next to him as well, and sing quietly, the sound of a man’s voice singing is very soothing.
It has to be one of the hardest things to do as a parent. Watching quietly as your child is screaming to their wit’s end. Nothing you can do.
But, this new, calmer approach, has shortened the length of time that George’s night terrors have been lasting drastically. Now they’re roughly 10-15 minutes. A much more doable amount of time, and the approach is much less exhausting on everyone.
What we’ve done to cope with night terrors in our house:
- Don’t touch the child after you’ve recognized it to be a night terror.
- Talk calm and quietly, or sing softly.
- Keep him safe, remove any objects in the area that may be of harm.
- Turn on a dim light.
- Be patient.
I have heard of others awakening the child right before the time they would have a night terror, to waken them on your own (and their own) terms and put them back to sleep. This hasn’t been necessary for us yet. George’s night terrors are quite irregular, happening about every other week now. I am very thankful for this because I’ve heard of others occuring several times per week.
While we have managed to cope with the night terrors much better, it would be nice to eliminate them altogether. I haven’t figured this one out yet. WebMD has a few suggestions as to what could trigger night terrors:
Night terrors may be caused by:
- Stressful life events
- Fever
- Sleep deprivation
- Medications that affect the brain
I thought George’s seemed to be caused by sleep deprivation, but its been happening lately on days that he even gets a good two-hour nap. And we go to bed at the same time consistently.
The only thing I’ve found for us is that it happens to be on days that I’m not around to put him down for nap. It may be my husband, or my sister-in-law, or my mom that puts him down for a nap. Like I said, the nap still seems to be a good nap most of the time, and even sometimes still in his own bed. I don’t know if this little bit of straying from his normal ‘routine’ that day is the cause of it or not, but its just my latest observation.
Whatever the reason for it happening, my end goal is always a sleeping child. Whatever it takes to get there. And it sure would be nice to not have to deal with it at all, but learning to cope with it makes it much more manageable.
We get it. As parents, we all end up dealing with some sort of difficult behavior that our child brings to the table. Its tough to deal sometimes. And sometimes, its just nice to know that others are dealing with the same behaviors.
This Night Terrors post is written as part of The Golden Gleam’s weekly series: We Get It.
Check out The Golden Gleam for a list of all upcoming (and past) We Get It posts on difficult behaviors. Next week is about self centered children and how to deal.
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Emma taylor says
Hello my name is Emma taylor I am a 32 year old lady and I suffer from night terrors really bad and when I have one I either shout and break down and cry or I run and I think something is in my room or is chasing me there getting worse I just don’t know what to do, I’m petrified to close my eyes now. I am going through a lot lately but they stopped at one point but now they are getting worse.
What can I do help me please it’s really hard and I am struggling
Cara Owens says
Dream catcher young living oil got rid of my daughters. Now only a few things trigger them
Rachael says
Thank you so much for the information!! Just experienced my first episode of night terror with my 18 month old son. Everything you have written is exactly what I’ve experienced. This is an amazing read and so thankful to have come across your post! Thank You.
Thai says
My son is now 7 and his symptoms are a bit different, I’d say milder than what’s described here. Since about 4, he would occasionally wake up (I think not spending some calming time before going to bed could trigger this, but not always, fever can also trigger it), clearly aware of his surrounding and can hear us and respond to our instructions, BUT he can’t control his limbs nor his speech, so he tries to talk to us but only gibberish comes out, surprisingly he could always say “mummy” and repeats this over and over as his arms and legs shakes uncontrollably, he can still stand and walks, etc… He’s clearly scared, confused and probably frustrated (think trying to communicate but can’t, and not understanding what’s happening to you), freaking out is probably a closer description. We’ve always been able to hold him and wait it out with him until he fully calms down, not always successfully holding him the entire time as he keeps on wanting to shake and is always clearly freaked out. When he eventually calms down, he is entirely normal and we kiss him goodnight again. He was never able to tell us after calming down how he actually felt during an episode and would always wake up the next morning not remembering it at all. Only now he’s 7, we got an episode after over a year of normal sleeping. This time we successfully calmed him down by me holding both his hands and keep instructing him in a calm slow voice to breath in deeply and breath out slowly. I modelled the breathing and he copies it, it calmed him down after 1 minute… The whole thing lasted about 5 mins. After he calmed down, I asked him how he felt during the episode and he was able to tell me he felt:
1. confused and
2. tingly (point to his forehead) and
3. that everything seemed too light (opposite of heavy, which makes sense because his muscles were very tense)
If he remembers it in the morning, we’ll have another chat and see what else he felt.
Masi says
Hi Thai i just read the article and also read your comment i am 100% i agree with your comment and for admin Thank you for sharing this incredible post with us.
Feheni says
Thank you all for your stories which had helped me so much to realized, that this is for real.l have a 22 months grand daughter, and she has been having this crying and screaming for a while and l just discovered she was having night terrors.lt was quiet scary.l just want to share what l did,this may be a bit sceptical to some of you’s but this is what l did.l googled to see what the bible had to say about night terrors, God holds the answers to everything, we just have to trust him,someone online shared a bible verse which is found in the book of Psalms 91,what you do,just read this verse in prayer over the child over and over again,claim this promise in JESUS name,trust me,the Lord never fails us,it worked,my grand daughter so far has been having good sleeps,the devil dont want you to know this,God Bless
Mary says
Has no one ever tried scripture reading? I’m 55 and while my terrors were few and far between, they are frightening and disturb my sleep. And, at my age, I need restful, uninterrupted sleep.
Ten years ago, my friend told me of her infant daughter’s night terrors and that after many months of no answers from any professional they turned to their only Source of Hope… God. She brought out her bible and she and her husband began to read Psalm 91 aloud. The terrors disappeared. They continued their nightly ritual of reading from Psalms, but always reading aloud to baby and always reading 91.
I’ve done the same thing. I’ve memorized several Psalms. When I do wake up at night from a terror, which is now so rare I cannot remember the last one, I begin reciting the Psalms I’ve memorized and if I cannot remember them I get my phone app and read them aloud.
Praying with your child and over your children should begin while they are in the womb. Do not let down your guard. You are wrestling with flesh and blood here, but with spiritual darkness.
Kate says
I’m a 41 year old mum and I am one of the rare adults who still gets night terrors. Me. I’ll tell you what it’s like. I have no idea it’s happening until my husband wakes me up … Apparently by this time I’ve been screaming for some time already. My memory of it is that there’s something or someone standing over me or in the corner of the room which frightens me. My brother also gets night terrors (he’s 43!) and he sees ants crawling all over the bed. I sometimes don’t remember anything the next day. I’m usually scared out of my wits at the time it happens but resettle back to sleep very quickly, particularly if my husband is in the room. I like to leave the beside lamp on if I’m home alone when it happens. I hate it if my husband is rude about it but if he is soothing about it then that is the best thing. I don’t mind him hugging me or stroking my arm but shaking me awake is not on and makes me worse! My daughter also has these terrors sometimes and I try to treat her the same way as I like to be treated and she seems to respond in a similar way to me. Just thought I’d share. Happy to answer any questions!!
Kymm S. says
My almost 7 year old daughter is no longer having them. But the first one was at a relatives house and it was awful. The more we consoled her, the worse it got. I cannot figure out the triggers but over time we learned to go in and calmly tell her to go back to sleep. If she says she needs something, tell her she has it. It works. It works better the older she gets. It is horrible to watch your child do this and have no recollection! But she is growing out of it, now if she makes any noise, we tell her to go back to sleep. And she does.
Christina Pickston says
My daughter has been experiencing night terrors since she turned 1.5/2 . Trigger I’ve noticed is not winding down at least 30 mins before bed . On these nights where it’s been impossible to ensure this I usually don’t go to bed until she’s been in asleep at least 3hrs and I go in to her , tuck her into her blanket , make sure she has a cuddle friend , hugs & kisses are given once more and with fingers crossed I head to bed . The tips I got from Netmums proved to be invaluable to me . Don’t handle these episodes alone . Ask for help and remember it will come to an end soon .
Tracy says
My son has had night terrors since just before turning 1, he is now 6 years old. He will go on what seems like a night terror “spree”, lasting a couple of months (every night), then it seems to calm down for up to 6 months. I’m a month in and hoping it calms down soon!
I know that they say not to touch them or try to rouse them but, for him, a very cold cloth (and sometimes I need hubby to rotate cold cloths for me) for a couple of minutes (face, arms, neck, back etc) can rouse him out of the terror without waking him and he is able to move to a restful sleep. He never remembers any of this. I do find that the sooner I am able to this, the quicker he can respond.
I don’t know if it will work for everyone but, it sure works for us.
Melissam says
my son has this happen, but I use White Angelica oil from Young Living on his head and spine. I finally realized whenever I brought something used hole from a thrift store or specific friends, he would have these episodes. So I tossed every item I could find that was from the thrift store or that was second hand and it stopped. Only occasionally does it happen because of a really negative person that comes thru our life.
Andrea says
Thank you so much for this article. My son is 3 and has had night terrors maybe 5-6 times total since he’s turned 2. I always wondered why this happened and didn’t know what was going on and literally about 10 minutes ago he was having one so I tried to do some research online and came across this. It really helped and now I feel like I know a little more and how to approach the situation next time.
Kathy Cox says
I am wondering if this is what just happened to my three year old son. He has done this only three or four times. It is very upsetting. Because it seems as if he is in pain or something. But won’t tell you whats wrong.
Blanche says
Hi,
My 6 year old has always had occasions when she would wake just as I was going to sleep or just after – so about 3 hours into her sleep. They dont happen regularly and we still cannot work out what the triggers are. She did it last night and it went on for 2 1/2 hours! Im confident she is awake as she communicates with us and will get out of bed. We might be able to calm her after 20mins or so and then just as we think she is ok, she starts up again screaming and stiffening her body. She is hysterical. We try everything we can think of and cant help but get more frustrated with our approach as it progresses and we tire ourselves. This morning we asked her if she remembered what happened last night and she seems to remember although says she was naughty (we never tell her she is naughty). It really doesnt make any sense to us. She doesnt have dairy or sweet foods very often. More than anything it seems to occur after she has had a fantastic day – yesterday she had a playdate after school and we received her amazing report from school. There was nothing that I can see could have caused this. I am at a loss. :(
Thank you for sharing your story though, it has made me feel a little better and has given me a few things to consider and try for the next time. Hopefully it wont happen again for a few months now.
loraine says
Our 3 year old gets them when he drinks milk or has a lot of dairy. Like clockwork. Good luck!
Jennifer says
Years ago, I looked after a child who had night terrors. I put a bit of honey on my finger and then rubbed it on her tongue. I held her and whispered “Everything is okay! Go back to sleep now…” I put her back to bed in a different position (pillow flipped) etc. I like the cold cloth on the forehead idea too …. :)
Olivia says
My 4 yr old has had terrors since he was 2 months old. Lucky for me I can hold him, as it helps me stay calm holding him, talking calmly. Extra snuggles tonight as I wipe away our tears; another episode about 90 minutes after bedtime … just like clockwork. Overtired and full bladder are normally our triggers. Praying tomorrow will be a better rest.
Leigh says
My son had intense night terrors 3-4 times a week and we did many of the same soothing techniques as you described. Then I came across a study that showed a link between enlarged tonsils and adenoids and night terrors. Turns out he had 85% blockage from his tonsils and enlarged adenoids that caused sleep apnea, which brings on night terrors. We had his removed and now are 6 weeks post-surgery and only 2 mild terrors since likely due to a sleep debt. Check out this article (and if the link doesn’t work, just do a quick search): http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/447824
Lisette says
I came across your blog and just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you writing this post. My daughter(5) has night terrors since she was 3. For her the night terrors started when we said goodbye to her passifier. I can still feel the despair I felt the first time she had one, boy I was so scared to see her like that! I really thought she was posessed. People tend to think it’s just a nightmare but the total lack of being able to contact the kid makes it so scary for the parents. Your kid aches (my daughter often feels pain or insects or something biting her) and you can’t help them.
Our night terrors are very much under control. She still has them though. For us it’s usually busy days or something really exciting. Luckily I can touch my girl most of the time and for us it helps when I ask her to sit on my lap (I can’t just pick her up, that will make it way worse!) and sometimes I can pick her up and stand in front of a mirror. Showing her it’s me and her and telling her that often calms her down. I have to be careful not to keep her ‘up’ too long or it will be worse too.
It’s really hard to find out what works for your kid. I just want to say to everyone that is still searching for what works; trust your instincs. It’s your kid and you will know what is right for your kid. Trust me, you’ll find a way. Just remember; no matter how scary it looks, it’s not dangerous (just make sure they are safe if they also walk around or something). Good luck.
Crystie says
My youngest son, who is now 9, also suffered from night terrors for a couple of years. He seems to have outgrown them as he hasn’t had one in a while. I also didn’t know what it was or what caused it so I did some research and kept and journal of what he had done and eaten on the days that he had one. I started to notice certain things were triggering the night terrors:
– MEDICATION
– TEMPERATURE (not necessarily from being sick. I had to make sure that he didn’t fall asleep in clothing that was too warm or sleep with too many blankets on)
– EATING TOO CLOSE TO BEDTIME
– FALLING ASLEEP IN FRONT OF THE TV
– MOVING HIM IN THE 1ST TWO HOURS AFTER FALLING ASLEEP
I hope this helps others recognises triggers. Good luck
Jona says
I Agree with Crystie, my 6yo been having this night terror bout 2yrs now, matter fact he just had one bout an hr ago :(
Somedays he doesnt get it for like a week straight. But he has been on an antibiotics and had a fever so i think it triggered it. He had it last 3nights now.
I just always pray he will soon grow out of it. It sure is something weird thing though. ” night Terror?!”
First, i thought he was having a nightmare then maybe seeing things like a ghost or something but then now recently i just realized that its something called ” night terror” :(
All of his symptoms matches to what it says :(
I wish all of the parents and ur little ones good luck and the bests!
Cherrie says
I completely agree with making sure they aren’t dressed too warmly or have too many blankets on.
My son had night terrors regularly until I started to check on him not long after he went to sleep. If he felt a bit hot/sweaty I would take off a layer or two of blankets. After this he quickly stopped having them.
Also, when he had them we would sit him in front of the TV and let him watch “Bob the Builder”. This & the change of room/temperature would usually calmed him down quickly.
Darcy says
Thank you thank you thank you!
My 3 year old has sporadic night terrors and has since he was 18 months. It’s comforting to know that other moms are dealing with this and also how they are dealing with this. It is so emotionally draining on us- heartbreaking to watch your baby thrash around and scream and there is nothing you can do about it.
This is great advice and I plan to use it should another episode arise.
Jamie Reimer says
I hope something here helps Darcy.
Sarah says
My youngest started having night terrors around the age of 2. I thought they were caused by him being overly tired, or not getting a good nap during the day. 3 years ago, I started the family on a clean/real good diet which ended up eliminated all artificial food coloring. His night terrors stopped! Now, he only gets them when he has food/drink with a lot artificial food dyes….such as after birthday parties, etc. Good luck with your son! It’s never any fun.
patti martin says
when my children were little, they had night terrors. i remember being so frightened myself because i was not able to help them. as time went on, i noticed a pattern. i had read that it occurs during growth spurts. sometimes the neurons in their brains grow so quickly that there can be a slight gap between them, and that is what is happening when they appear awake but don’t function as if they are. after reading that, i did notice that the night terrors would happen several times within a week or two, and then not for months. then the cycle would happen again. i believe their explanation to be accurate. as my children got older, it happened less and less. i have now seen one of my grandchildren have them. your way of dealing with them seems to be the best. just be sure they cannot hurt themself, and speak, sing, or pray as you watch them until they return to sleep.
Jody says
My 6 year old son started having them almost a year ago. His were, by definitions sake, a cross between terrors and nightmares. He was able to tell me all about it the next morning. So weird. We were told all the same things about the causes and what to do. Nothing worked. About that same time I was told about essential oils and through various conversations decided to try it. I bought some lavender essential oil (there are trusted companies online that are much cheaper than the home based business ones if you’re on a tight budget like we are). Within a week they were completely gone. Recently he showed signs of beginning a terror, but that was because he was on an antibiotic for strep, and he never fully went into it. I use a diffuser, put about 4 drops lavender in it with water, and begin at story time, just before they fall asleep. You can also rub some oil on the bottom of their feet. It’s all natural and has helped our entire family! Hope all works out well for your family!
Shanan says
I had night terrors when I was young, I’m now 30 but they stopped when I was 9 or 10. It scared my parents so much. They tried talking calmly or holding me & rocking me but the only thing that got me to come out of them was a cold washcloth on my forehead. I don’t really remember them but my parents do. I now have a son that is 4 months old and I am worried that there will come a day he starts having them too. I just hope it never does!
erickajen says
i had night terrors. my son had night terrors. ironically enough, we both have aspergers too. and theres maybe a hint of that here, with the fact that a small change seems to set them off for him?
anyway its probably unrelated, and this might be an old article, i dont know how to tell. but its something thats interested me. i wonder if theres a connection at all.
anyway, we seemed to find that taking him to the bathroom helped too. i dont know why, and it was a long time before we tried that.
he has still gotten some in the past year and he just turned 8. but they are few and far between, considering we would get them almost every night.
Kevin says
We went through this with our son about 30 years ago. We never discovered how to stop them from occurring but did develop a way to successfully stop them within a few minutes of onset.
I would start the shower and put it at my normal shower temperature. I would then pick up my son and the 2 of us would get under the shower fully clothed. (he in pjs). Then I would slowly turn the water colder. In a few minutes the water was very cold and my son would “wake up” (come to). He would have no recollection of the night terror. We’d get dried off, he’d go back to bed and have a restful sleep. I hope this helps one person. Night Terrors were horrific.
Susan says
my daughter started them when she had to change to a new school for 4th grade. She would run through the house screaming and pulling her clothes off. I used a wet compress on her and she would come out of it. They lasted for several months that fall. Scary for sure.
MBE says
These sound very painful. We too had this issue (among others) and I stumbled upon past lives (not something I was into at all before…). This book was a turning point:
http://www.carolbowman.com/childrens-past-lives/
Once I got into it, my toddler knew and these subconscious past life memories came out and resolved her night terrors (and corresponding fears and physical symptoms). I have had a few people tell me she is very spiritually connected (a “Crystal child”), I am willing to bet all these cases are children who are also sweet, sensitive and open to other realms.
It can be kind of a taboo subject, but our results convinced me and have led me to further reading. I hope This helps someone here as well.
Korenne says
My daughter had her first night terror about a year ago, and it was the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had. Her trigger is when she is running a fever. She had been sick, and woke up screaming bloody murder and talking in some kind of foreign language (eyes wide open). The only word I recognized was “MOMMY”; however, when I went towards her, she would scream louder. It scared me so bad I called 911. My husband picked her up from behind and we placed a cold washcloth on the back of her neck, and it only took a couple of minutes for her to come out of it. She has a particular high pitched scream when it begins, and I immediately get a cold washcloth. Thankfully hers only lasts about 5 minutes. My heart goes out to all of you who’s last longer….I couldn’t immagine!!
Loulwa says
My daughter had them for a few nights. Not sure of the cause, but what I did was i knew when she would have them so I would wake her 10-15 mins before she had an episode so that she’s not in deep sleep which is when she has them. For some reason that worked. I would give her a sip of water or tell her i wanted a hug, and sometimes it was just a matter of lifting her blanket off her and putting it back on. It did the trick. After she had her adenoids removed and her breathing became better, the night terrors stopped.
I know the pain you are going through. Stay strong. I hope it stops soon.
Sarah says
My son has always had night terrors, starting from about 2, he still has them now and is turning 6 next month, The scary point for us what when he started sleep walking during his night terrors. One night we heard the front door and found him standing on the porch. To cope with his terrors we just lay next to him. He screams and rants about random things. Our son in general is an awful sleeper, he thrashes about all night banging the wall but he also has bad anxiety issues so for him his night terrors are probably a combination of stress and being over tired.
Krisha Smith says
My 20 month old daughter just started this recently and her pediatrician suggested waking her up about an hour before. Not totally awake just enough to break the sleep cycle. We have not had a chance to try this. Luckily, she doesn’t have the terrors every night.
Mary says
My daughter started after age one with the very same episodes. Her doctor said she’d grow out of it. Unfortunately, she’s seven years old and still has frequent episodes. When she started Kindergarten she even tried to go out the front door while sleep walking. Which we associated with the stress of starting school. It’s a cycle, the terrors wake her up so she doesn’t get enough sleep which causes her to have more. The school gets upset with us if we bring her in late but she needs the sleep after a rough night. I’m now considering homeschooling. It’s rough. Wouldn’t wish it on another parent much less child.
Kelly says
I am so sorry for you And your daughter! I know the difficulty and stress of night terrors as my now 7 year old goes through stages with them. For us, the trigger is stimulation and stress. Ever since he was a new baby, he was sensitive to stimulation. If he begins a cycle of night terrors, we minimize TV, music etc and even physical stimulation like touching. And stress of course. It helps and they stop. When he has one, we do not touch him at all as the stimulation makes it worse. We just make sure he is safe and let it run its course. Thankfully, with this approach, the duration of each terror is short and the cycle is only a couple of days. Praying for you!
Katy says
I’ve had night terrors all my life and I’m 50! So you don’t always outgrow them, but I’ve found a couple silly things that seem to disrupt the cycle. As funny as is sounds, sleeping on the side of the bed away from the door and moving the bed location. My husbands voice can also help me wake up from one.
kerry watson says
Although Wikipedia isn’t traditionally known as a place to source TRULY factual information but I found their summary so so so reassuring. Good luck to all of those starting their night terror adventures. Xx
Paula says
My grandson had horrible night terrors. A friend suggested a connection between red dye (Red 40 especially), so his parents started watching consumption of red dye (it’s in products you would never imagine such as toothpaste, cough syrup, and other medicine!). His worst night terror was after having a red soft drink at a restaurant, which confirmed the connection. We know other kids who no longer consume red dye – and no longer have night terrors. I highly recommend eliminating red dye from the diet of children as you may find the solution to night terrors.
LuAnn Meyer says
Geez. My granddaughter has gone through these and they were terrifying to myself and my husband. Since she has turned five ( in March) we have not experienced any. Praise God for that.
Nicola says
Thanks for writing this… our son has been having ‘issues’ with crying out in his sleep for months (he is now 18 months old)… we’ve only just heard of ‘night terrors’ and are intrigued and relieved at the same time. Again, thanks x
trude says
My 12 year old has been doing it since 2, full bladder can cause it, if she has colours during the day, chocolate as it has amines, 160b in custards etc, flavour enhancers in like noodles, Alfredo, cheese powders. Lots of things can cause nightmares, and overtiredness.
Karri says
My 5 yr old son gets them every night. I have to go up and wake him at least until he rolls over or grunts. If I go up to early he will still have one. He wakes up crying, said the voices are to loud, make the noise stop, I want mommy, I want daddy, he looks at us but doesn’t recognize us. I try to comfort him and tell him I’m right here. He doesn’t get violent but he’s definitely scared out of it. His Ped told me I’m doing all that I can and I just have to wait for him to grow out of it. Its harder on me than anyone. He shares a room but his brother and sister don’t wake up. I lay awake in my bed waiting to see if he’s going to have one or have another one even after I’ve roused him. I’m glad I’m not alone and sorry to all the others with violent night terrors. My son walks around the house looking for us but he’s never yelling or angry.
Christi says
I’ve done quite a bit of research and found some other triggers as well, including caffeine, stress in the household, and possibly food allergies. For my older son, his trigger was chocolate. We couldn’t give him any form or amount of chocolate after about 4 pm because he would have an episode. Once we figured that out, they have virtually disappeared.
Becky B says
My nephew used to have night terrors. My sil found out that the only thing that helped him not to have them is having a cool room at night. Even now that he’s almost a preteen, if it’s warm in his room he’ll have nightmares. Try to keep their room cool at night. Hope that helps someone, it certainly helped her.
Bethany says
I had these when I was a child and I find it so weird because I don’t remember them. Being a child in the 90s, my parents didn’t have the research or sources handy to figure out what to do and just had to wing it. But I can give you some tips that might put you at ease:
It is very unlikely that this will last past his younger years. He’ll grow out of it when the chemicals in his brain have balanced. Very few children continue having night terrors after the age of 10. And even if they do it’s more of a ‘sleep walking’ sensation. So you most likely won’t have this on your shoulders for long.
Having a ‘calm hour’ during the day that’s not a nap may also help. Have him not play around and just read a book with him or have him work on a puzzle. Something that has his mind captured but his imagination not going full throttle. Play classical music and just keep the atmosphere calm. Make it a routine so his body and subconscious know what’s not stressful and when he has another terror, play the music and let him do his thing.
Give him stimulating foods that are good for the development of eyes and the brain. Night terrors are stimulated by a stressed mind going through unbalances. Try and not let him sip on anything carbonated and limit sugary snacks. When my mother took away candy in our home she found that my terrors weren’t as long, and mine would last up to 2 hours at times.
Whatever you do don’t give him sleepy medicine hoping that it’ll keep him asleep unless your doctor says it’s okay. The brain is already in chaos during a terror and sleepy medicine can make it worse.
I get that this post is old and you may not even have to go through this anymore, but hopefully these tips help anyone who comes across them.
Sue says
My son had night terrors all the time as a child. This was 35 years ago and there was no information available then. he would have them nightly and they would last forever (1-2 hours) because we would try to calm him down. he would scream, call for us, look past us, push us away, tell us he hated us, etc. It was awful. No one believed us until my sister witnessed one and after that she swore he was possessed. he finally outgrew them (for the most part) when he was 8-9 years old. That is when the sleepwalking began. Then we went from night terrors to sleepwalking. If it wasn’t one it was the other. This continued through his teenage years though not as frequent. My husband and I were so frustrated and often questioned what were we doing wrong. Thank God I can finally see that this is not extremely abnormal!!! We raised 4 children and my oldest son was the only child that went through this. Thank you for FINALLY letting me know that I did not cause this behavior!!!
Nat says
My 6 year old son still gets Night Terrors on occasion. My daughter grew out of them by the age of 3, but my eldest son still scares us with them. I thought he would have stopped them by now, but they still happen, albeit infrequently (once every couple of months). It makes it harder because he’s on a top bunk, but he has never tried to throw himself down it, so that’s some comfort. As soon as he starts wailing I go up to him to make sure he’s safe.
Barbara Mckinzie says
Please excuse the mess I typed before had the wrong typing method in so here goes again. My nephew had night terrors so bad that he would jump up and down in his bottom bunk, he was actually jumping up and down on his knees. We lived in a bungalow at the time so we just made sure he was save as he ran screaming and crying through the house. We were in constant contact with doctors and he also in therapy. One doctor suggested that we spray cool water into his face, we thought that was cruell. But when we moved to a second floor we were afraid for his safety. So we did spray cool water on his face. This got the screaming part to stop. Then I was able to cuddle and things were better until the next time, because there were times when he had two a night. He finally grow out of them around the age of middle school. He is now the proud father of two so far so good. Hope this helps.
Barbara Mckinzie says
My nephew came to live with us the was 4 ,years old and had always had them. He would run thorough the house screaming and crying, we tried to calm him the best we could we tried waking him up betw even and hour if two after he went to sleep this did not work. We finally let him run because hd had as started to hit by then. We were in constantly contact with the doctor and he was also in therapy. We lived in a bungalow at thus time, but moved to a two story house with bedrooms upstairs. Now we are afraid for his safety more now then ever. One doctor suggested to s pray cold w a red in his face. Well it we worked. He did not stop having them but they did nit last as long and he was a ble to be consoled faster, because the w a red as shocked h I’m enough stop running and then my part came to cuddle. They lasted til he was about 9. When his big brother talked t o him about how to calm down when first woke up. Either that worked or he just grew out of them. He’s now the father of a little boy and girl and so far so good
Barbara
H school
E was in therapy
emived with us and had always had them. When
kay says
My son had the night terrors when he was 6. It was really scary after doing everything I could do to wake him, with failed attempts. Doctor suggested waking him before the episode, that did not even work. So I finally gave him a baby aspirin and that worked. Continued for about six months. I did periodically skip one to see if he needed it and it would happen again until finally it happened no more. I hope this helps some other child or parent.
Jamie Reimer says
Thank you for the tip Kay. Its so tough.
Heidi says
I can totally relate to that feeling of helplessness! My son is now 11 and he suffered from night terrors starting at a year and a half until he was about 4. After several years of peaceful sleep, he had a reoccurance (which lasted several months) when he was 8. We had just moved to a new town but I was totally unprepared for that! It was even worse because he would pace back and forth in his room weeping and crying and mumbling while wringing his hands for up to an hour. The interesting part was that we could finally talk about his experience. One night he woke up after an episode and asked completely calm, “why are my cheeks wet?” I explained that he had had a night terror and asked him how he felt during the episode. He didnt remember anything unsettling only some moments when he said “I felt like someone was trying to crush me into a corner and I was trying to get away from them!” Those were the moments when I would try to touch him and comfort him!
So, be warned that it can come back at a later age during a stressful life event. But be comforted that though it is tramatic for us, it is not tramatic for the child! It really is important just to let it run its course, because our intervention only unsettles the child. Best of luck!
Jamie Reimer says
Thanks for the heads up! I’m crossing my fingers they don’t come back later!
Kathy says
All four of my sons had night terrors when they were young, as did their father. They really didn’t end totally until they started into adolescence, atlthough as they got older they did lessen. They too, screamed and cried and sounded like someone was murdering them. Was always afraid the neighbors would call the police! We would talk calmly and quietly and hug them if they would accept it. We would often take a cool wash cloth and wipe their faces or the back of their neck in an attempt to wake them. This helped at times, but other times no. Then you just are there to comfort them and wait it out. Scary for sure! I wish I had known the suggestion of interrupting their sleep cycle. I would be willing to try anything. We are now expecting our first little grandson and I will be sure to pass these suggestions on to my son, as it appears to be hereditary.
Grzenia Mitch says
I’ve begun to notice a connection between chocolate and my son’s night terrors. Also my son will scream (sometimes quite loudly) and call out for me but when I come near him it only seems to exacerbate the screaming. He also kicks and it almost seems as if his legs are cramping up. Talking to him makes things worse. He had one tonight…hoping it won’t occur again.
elli says
I am 56 years old and believe it or not have been having night terrors since I have been 18. I am from the west indies and until I came here never thought much of it. It bothered my husband and kids so much, they spoke about it all the time. Now that I am here I realize the attention it got and I am deciding to do something about it because it does not seem to get any better. I have no recollection of it, it does not come as a dream or nightmare. I scream and shout and toss and turn and cry sometime. I don’t even think about it unless someone complains. I really hate this and don’t like what it does to others around me , but I have no control. Thanks for sharing your stories, I know I am not alone.
Rebecca says
I am 29 years old and have had night terrors since I was little. I still have them 2-6 nights a week, depending on my stress level. Mostly screaming, gasping and sitting up in bed, but sometimes I get up and stomp the mattress, try desperately to crawl away from something, fallout of the bed, and I’ve even hit my husband. It’s exhausting. I never remember it, but I know it’s happened because I feel like I haven’t slept at all. My poor, sweet husband. Lol Maybe someday there will be more answers. Almost 30 years of them and no end in sight.
Apezazueta says
I thought we were the only ones dealing with this. Long story short my now 51/2 year old started having “night terrors” as a new born. We went through every scenario possible, early bedtimes, no food after a certain time, waking up at intervals to prevent an episode. After one started we tried, talking, soothing, being loud to wake up, light, water, rocking, singing, you name it. Then he started peeing during an episode and it didn’t seem right, went to a neurologist. Turned out he in fact suffers from night or sleep seizures and NOT NIGHT TERRORS….. What?! We were in awe.
The dr wanted to start medication, we didn’t opt out, instead prayed. Our prayers were answered when by coincidence we noticed by not taking naps he wasn’t having episodes. Glad to say he has been episode free for over 8 months.
I old recommend seeing a neurologist to rule out seizures. Good luck. I hope he gets over this soon. I know how heartbreaking it is to see your child like this. Feel free to email me.
mindybrouse says
We dealt with these for years too and found an instant solution that shocked us. Seriously. It sounds weird, but it’s true. She would still occasionally have mild ones (some light crying or sleep walking), not the screaming things that freaked us out for so long.
The solution? Play Handel’s Water Music in her room when tucking her in and all through the night. Seriously. Research shows that music with 60 beats per minute has a physiological effect. We have heard of anesthesiologists who play it during surgery now.
I wrote about it here (our #1 of 6 had night terrors and #6 has mild ones):
http://gratefulforgrace.com/2011/11/help-for-night-terrors/
Vanessa says
I had night terrors the entire year I was in Kindergarten. Mine were caused by stress because my teacher was abusive. I didn’t know what she was doing wasn’t normal for school so I didn’t tell anyone. One thing I can tell you about night terrors is that they do stop and your child will not remember them. Ever. I’m 29 and I remember that year, I remember my teacher being mean, but I do not remember ever having night terrors. That was a comfort to my mom. Maybe it will be to you, too.
Julie says
My Little Mister, who is almost 3, has had 2 within a week. He wakes up, usually in our bed, screams and thrashes his legs. If I try to touch him, he screams NO between his cries and moves or pushes me away. If I ask him anything he screams NO. I have been terrified both times. Scary stuff. Thanks for sharing the things you have found useful. I hope I won’t need it, but glad I found it!
Naomi says
I have 7 siblings (that’s 8 all together my poor mother haha) and every single one of us had night terrors and sleepwalking issues. Quite a few of my cousins too :P For myself it lasted well into junior high, though luckily most of my siblings grew out of it by age 6 or so. My father had them really bad as a kid also, so I’ve always just thought them a slightly unnerving, but regular part of life. It wasn’t until I was much older that I learned that it didn’t happen to everyone.
Cheetahbelly says
Just found this thread last night. Our 6 year old son gets them here and there few times a year. Now he had them two days in a row, last night being every 2 1/2 hrs. And by far most weird and scary. He has a cold and low grade fever so I’m thinking that’s the cause. My question is he does recognize me and calls me to come and get him. Yet he does not see his older siblings or dogs. He profusely declares his love to me while in the midst of the episode of thrashing, seeing things, and hearing voices, he will tell me what he is seeing or hearing. I didn’t find a similar thing online. Has anybody’s child been able to communicate with a parent while in the midst of night terror? It’s scary to me and I really worry about him. He’s a smart and very sweet boy.
Marni Arnold says
Yes, our son had communicated with me and my husband during his night terrors (of course we don’t touch him, we just respond to his cries for us)…however, what he talks about is incoherent and he is usually highly angsted…and the next morning we have asked him if he remembers talking with us the night prior…and he declares “no.”
Marni Arnold says
I discussed out night terror situation with a fellow trusted church leader at our church who is a nurse, and it turns out her eldest son dealt with this a couple of years ago…and his triggers were primarily media sources about 2-3 hours before bed. She told me in their eliminating any visually stimulating media (TV, iPad’s, iPod’s, iPhones, etc) 2-3 hours prior to their son’s bedtime, they haven’t had an issue since. It seems some children are highly affected by media over stimulating them so close to bedtime. So, we have tried doing this…and so far, we have success. The only nights we tend to have an issue is when we have nights where we goes to bed a little later than his bed time due to us being out a bit late as a family…otherwise, he is doing much better!
Ibet says
Hello Jaime
My son has also struggled in the last year with night terrors – it took me a week or so to realise what was going on as I initially thought he was throwing a tantrum.
Just to share what I have learned about night terrors – it happens when the child does not get enough REM sleep. The night terror is when a part of the child’s brain wakes up but another part stays asleep. The child is not aware of what is going on and not responsive.
What has shortened our son’s episodes was 1) to stir him just before we go to bed and not wake him completely 2) when one happened to pick him up, comfort, place him back in bed for 5 min, then go back in and pick him up – this little cycle seems to get him out of a terror far quicker.
It is a very uncomfortable behaviour to witness. Even though we are very consistent with sleep and our kids have a good routine the terrors has always been worse when we went away, had visitors staying.
AN extra hour of sleep during bad weeks almost always stopped the terros for a period of time again.
All the best and thank you for a great blog.
Jamie Reimer says
Thank you for the tips! It IS very uncomfortable to witness and such a struggle.
realmomofnj says
My daughter has night terrors, too. Hers began when she was around 2.5 years old (she’s nearly 3.5 now and still has them every now and then). A psychologist friend of ours assured us that it’s often just a normal part of brain development, and we employ a lot of the techniques you mentioned above. Namely just keeping her safe and letting the night terror run its course. It’s still scary, though!
Yulanda says
My daughter started at 2 yrs.As long as I didn’t touch her she was ok.But as soon as I touched her.It would enhance whatever it was she was feeling.It took her awhile to calm down.Hers would last anywhere from 15 mins – 1.5 hrs.
She is now 18 yrs.Her last one was when she was 16 yrs where she would sit up and talk and mumble.Then go back to sleep minutes later.
When she did have them,it was like she was in a daze.
Her eyes looked different.Like she was a million miles away.She never ever remembered anything.Alot of the times we would also find her in different parts of our house.She would wake up in the morning to ask why we put her in the basement on the couch.She could not remember herself walking downstairs.
The one time she tried to leave the house.We had to put a lock up high.We found that when her day was stressful.Myself or my husband giving her heck she would have one usually 45 minutes -hr of being asleep.
She carries her heart on her sleeve.We didn’t even have to yell just talk in a Stern voice would make her cry.Later on that night she would have one.
The dr did say she would out grow it and she has.
She also dealt with severe anxiety from 12 yrs-15 yrs.Had to home school her.We don’t think this had anything to do with her night terrors.
Lisa D says
Our son started having night terrors around the age of 3. He is now 10. The bigger he got the more complicated it became, especially since he would often get out of bed during the terrors. He would walk around, climb up on my bed, walk to the bathroom, down the stairs. I always follow him and try to escort him in a safer direction but this is hard to do without making it worse.
When he was 8 he started having nighttime seizures that seemed to have taken the place of the terrors. So we saw a neurologist and had all kinds of test run. They found nothing. A nurse friend of mine suggested taking red dye out of his diet. So we did… and the only seizures or night terrors he has had since then are when he ate something without realizing it had red dye and when he had a fever.
He asked us to record one of his night terrors or seizures but that is the last thing on my mind during either of these episodes. Plus I don’t think he really needs to see what he looks like, it’s very scary.
My little piece of advice is to keep a diary of sorts. I keep up with day, time, food he ate that day (and day before if possible), temperature in the house, and in some cases I would take his temp after. We know that if he has a fever when he goes to be he is going to have a terror so we just listen for him. And now we know that if he has a class party or has been at a friends house to listen for him because he tries really hard not to have red dye but it is hidden in so many things you would never even think. His episodes were so random before so I am thankful that we were able to pinpoint the cause.
I pray that you will all be able to have your ‘aha’ moment.
Thanks for your advice and some of the other posts. We have been dealing with this for years but I still learned a few new things.
Jessica says
Hi – I struggled with these growing up but they were not well known then and so it took forever to figure them out. I was older and would walk around inconsolably. My parents found drinking water would wake me up for some reason! Not fun at all. I can’t I imagine being the parent watching it happen!
Laura says
Hi Y’all! I just found this article on Pinterest and read the article, but not all the responses. My now almost 11 year old used to have night terrors as a toddler. I still don’t know what causes them. But…one thing we tried and it seemed to work for her, was to limit her sugar intake. She stopped eating most things that contained sugar by 7pm. As soon as we did that, the night terrors stopped. When we forgot, or thought they were over and she had too much sugar after 7pm, she had them again.
We still try to keep her sugar intake low at night, but ever since she was a toddler she stopped having them when we followed the no sugar rule. I also remember sometimes taking a squirt bottle of water in with me when she was screaming and squirted her hands, etc…and that seemed to break the terror and then she would just want hugs and to go back to sleep.
I hope this may help most of you or at least some of you. Many prayers to y’all!
Take Care~
Laura
kristie says
We went through this for over a year, 3 or so times a week 2 or 3 times a night…I was going crazy. There was nothing to tell me what to do no one I knew went through this. Then, I read this little blurb at the end of a research paper on night terrors. It said that some parents had found success in ending these by waking the child approximately 15 minutes before the terrors start, then letting the child go back to sleep. You should do this for 7 nights after each terror. This will do 2 things reset their sleep and teach them how to wake up and go right back to sleep. It worked miracles for us….we immediately stopped having multiple events a night and went down to one a month, then none in over a year. We would get our daughter up have her pee and she would go right back to sleep. I was skeptical…but desperate…and it worked.
Jennifer says
We pray and/or read psalm 91, always brings my son out of it.
Jamie says
With my 2.5 year old it’s lack of sleep or stress – so if he’s been up too late or too busy for a couple of days or the first few days after his dad leaves for work (he works away from home so when we say goodbye to daddy it’s for a couple of months). Cosleeping has helped quite a bit – it doesn’t prevent them or anything, but he’s got lots of room in our bed to move around and when he does calm down and return to normal sleep he can just pass out where he is.
I always feel terrible for other people when I hear that their kids have night terrors but also that same bit of relief – not feeling alone is always nice too :)
Amy says
My son had night terrors. I was terrified until I saw a story on Good Morning America that talked about it. They suggested going in to their room about 45 minutes after they fall asleep (yes, you need to be paying attention and be vigilant) and nudging them to simply turn over or switch from one side to another. They said that simple movement helps the brain transition from the first part of sleep in to REM. Night terrors are triggered when that transition is not smooth. It seemed to REALLY help!!! Hope that helps.
Sujeily Santiago says
My son has always experienced night terrors and the best solution I have found that has actually prevented then is giving my son melatonin. I buy this one in particular from Walmart– it’s a purple bottle. Strawberry flavored and they just dissolved in the mouth! I can say we have gone from 2-4 episodes a week to ab 1 every 6 months. I started this regimen once my sons psychologist told me (my son is on the autism spectrum). So I would def recommend it! He’s been takin melatonin since he was ab 2 and it works like a charm :) good luck!
Christel says
We just recently went thru this 3 weeks ago with our youngest (2 1/2 yrs old). Hers was medication that affected the brain due to being put under for surgery and post-op pain medicine with codine. We stopped the tylenol with codine immediately after the episodes had started. I called the ent surgeon first thing in the morning after the second episode. It was the scariest thing I have ever witnessed as a parent. I felt so helpless. When I finally got a call back from the surgeon she told me they were very common in the smaller children after surgery and to try benadryl every night before she goes to bed for a week and then slowly wean her off of it. It was a miracle and I finally had my happy sweet little girl back. We have not had a night terror since and I can say we have been sleeping fearless of any more episodes without benadryl for a week and a half now. I pray your son is able to grow out of the night terrors very soon and everyone sleeps happily ever after again. And I hope this helped.
Jennifer says
My oldest son has these too and as crazy as it may sound, it was a relief to finally figure out what it was (when he was little). His too were inconsistant, we never knew when he was going to have one and nothing about our day could explain why he would have one. To this day, we try to make sure he doesn’t get overheated while sleeping, so light jammies if any and definitely no socks.
One thing that comforts our son and usually helps him through the night terror is telling him what he wants to hear. Like if he wants his mom, I don’t say “I’m right here” I say “OK, I’ll get her”. As he got older once we thought he was out of the terror, we would ask him questions about the day or where he was. If he is calm and still says “I don’t know”, he is not done with the terror and typically can get all worked up again, so we don’t leave his side.
Another thing we figured out is he is usually completely terrified of the sound of my husband’s voice and only I can go through it with him. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Don’t take offense to that, it’s not personal.
It can be a scary thing, and upsetting too. I always tried to tell myself that he is ok and it’s harder on me than on him.
Good luck to you and your family!
Michelle says
Thanks for this post. While its such a HARD thing to go through its comforting to know that other “normal” people go through it to. My son (now 4) experienced night terrors at least 5 times a week for nearly a year when he was three. Our doctor and family members blamed us, told us that his homelife was too stressful and that was the reason he was getting them. I was devastated thinking I was the one to blame, that I was such a bad mum and my son was suffering – it really sent me under. I wish I could have read something like this last year for comfort. In the end we just had to let it run its course – went to his room and stood next to his bed to make sure he was safe….we never talked as some suggested, that only made it worse for us. We made sure he went to bed early enough so he didn’t get overtired, but sometimes it didn’t matter. Its been months now since he has had a terror. :) He still gets an occasional nightmare but they are so much easier and quicker to deal with! Hang in there – they don’t last forever :)
Jennifer says
This makes me sad to hear this… I really hope you found a different doctor! It is completely NOT your fault! I think a lot of people go through this and just don’t talk about it or are worried about being blamed for it. It is great to have a place where people can share similar experiences so they know they are not alone!
Zoe says
My daughter is 21 months old and suffers from night terrors a few times a week. This article describes her terrors perfectly! Thank you for sharing.
We have found that she tends to have a terror if she goes to bed on a full stomach, I don’t know why, but she does.
Usually when she has a terror, I try to cuddle (which you’re right, its tiring and it hurts), but I think I will just let it run its course from now on. Its so heartbreaking.
Emily @ Love{&}Bugs says
I had night terrors as a child. If it’s any consolation to you, I don’t and never did remember them. I did eventually grow out of them as well — probably somewhere between 8-11 years old. Hang in there!
Beth says
Thank you for this post. It has helped to validate that my little girl is not going through this alone. Cate is three-and-a-half, and has been having night terrors on and off for the past six months. Dealing with her episodes has been a touch-and-go process because the hardest part as a parent is watching your child go through something like this and you not be able to make it stop in an easy way.
In Cate’s situation, I have realized that it seems more likely to happen during times when she may get overheated during naps and at bedtime. When she wakes, it is usually in the form of screaming at the top of her lungs or hysterically crying out for “Mommy.” Even though I go to her and speak softly, she does not seem to recognize me at all. Instead, the screaming and calling out for her mommy may go on for 15 minutes or more, and she will generally focus on something in the room and scream louder, saying how scared she is. It’s heartbreaking. It can take anywhere from 30-45 minutes for her to calm down and recognize me.
Like you, I have learned over time to leave her be in terms of actually trying to touch her and just ensure that she is away from anything that could harm her. I speak softly and just guide her through it until she finally comes around and acknowledges who I am. I have actually videotaped her once to see my reactions in order to really get a feel for our interaction during these episodes and to learn more about how I finally seem to get through to her.
This definitely is a sleep disorder. It’s like they are awake physically, but not coherent of what is around them. Very disturbing and emotionally draining on kids and parents…
Jenn says
For children with night terrors, try taking their socks off. Sounds weird, I know, but that’s what did it for our daughter. No socks, no footie pajamas, they stopped and only came back when my husband forgot at left her sock on at bedtime.
Good luck, I hope this helps!
tricia says
Jamie- I will be referencing this in a post I will be publishing for the What To Expect (WTE) Moms site- we also struggled with Night Terrors before we knew what they were- now, we know that periods of high stress trigger them- and with the onset of allergy-induced asthma, disrupted sleep because of breathing issues can also trigger them…we are so lucky to have a child pulminologist who is also a child sleep expert who helped us to understand that! I figured it out by reading the excerpt in the What To Expect The First Year series and it changed everything for us and how we handle them. Once it is published, will link to this post and will let you know! :) Thanks!
Mama Of Many Blessings says
It is nice to see someone else’s journey with night terrors, my 8 year old has dealt with them for years, it is such a horrible thing for parents to go through. Our doctor told us at his last check up, that 2-3 hours after he falls asleep wake him up just enough to make sure he is awake and let him fall asleep after doing this for 10 days they say it will reset his REM sleep cycle, I’m hoping this helps us, and maybe you as well. Hope you have a great week!
Nicole
Jamie says
Let us know how it goes! I’ve heard of doing that too. How often does he have them?
cara says
My son does something that sounds like this but it is less often in the middle of the night and more when he is waking from a nap or gets woken up. He eventually will respond and come get a hug from me then slowly snap out of it… awake though not back to sleep. Would this still be considered a night terror? Has anyone had a similar experience? He used to do it every single day after his nap for a few minutes up to an hour. Then he stopped for about 6 months … I thought it was past us but he has now started to do it again.
Jamie says
George sometimes does this too during the day. These photos are actually from after a nap. We call them ‘day terrors’ but I don’t know if they’re related or not.
Laura says
My 18-month-old daughter has them at nap time and every once in a while at night (about an hour after having gone to bed). It’s just heart-breaking. She had one this past weekend while we were on a road trip, so we could only console her in public. All these people were walking by kind of smiling at us, thinking it was a regular temper tantrum. Talk about terrible!!! The only thing that really “works” for us is to try to hold, rock, and shush her until she comes out of it. It is generally best if we let her fall back asleep, even if it’s a nap. She’ll go back to sleep for another 45 minutes to an hour and then wake up completely normal, like nothing happened. I agree that it also seems related to being woken up at the wrong time or in the wrong way or something. I’m reading through these comments planning to try every single tip!
Lauren says
We have been dealing with night terrors for sometime now. My boy is 2 years old and experienced his first one at six months old. He went six months without having another one but after a year old they got worse. I asked our pediatrician about it and he recommended 1mg melatonin, it helped him fall asleep faster but they still happened. I was finally at my wits end and talked to a buddy of ours(he is a dr) and he said we may need to see a pediatric neurologist. So yesterday we did he seems to think it is a nocturnal seizure. It’s is hard to differentiate between the two. My uncle also had night terrors and my grandmother he’s witnessed these and said they are the same as my uncles night terrors. We go for a 24 hour EEG but I’m wondering if anyone has had a diagnosis of nocturnal seizures? I’m still convinced its night terrors based on his actions. Any help would be appreciated.
Jamie says
I definitely want an update on this when you find something out! I don’t have any diagnosis or haven’t read into anything on it. But when I described George’s night terrors to my sister-in-law I told her they almost seemed like a seizure they were so out of his control. I’m curious to hear more.
mercy says
I have dealt with these on and off with my 3yo. He just sits there and cries and cries hard. He only thrashes around if I try to do anything. It is so hard to just watch him and not do anything. Especially when others who don’t understand that I can’t just make it stop.
Jamie says
My little boy had night terrors for quite some time. They are quite difficult on both the child and the parents. Our little guy did eventually out grow them. We found that if he took a nap during the day it seemed to help prevent night terrors from happening. Not always, but definitely reduced the incidence of them. We found that the best way we were able to help him come out of one was to turn on a lamp/light in the room, hold him close and keep saying his name- semi loudly.
Sharon Riebel says
Wow – this is so what we went through with my youngest son. I wish I had this information before we had to deal with it. He is four now, but started having night terrors about 18 months old, for almost two years, three or four times a week. I started dreading nighttime because it felt like a ticking bomb, waiting to see if this would be another night of screaming. We always sat with him, but like you figured out with your son, we couldn’t do anything for him. It’s incredibly draining on parents and I have forward this to my step-daughter because her daughter is now going through it. Great article and very helpful for parents who may feel alone when dealing with this.
Brenda says
Trinity is going to be 9 yrs old in July. I have raised her for 8 years, she is my granddaughter. Mom had her for a year when she was 4 then she came back to me.
We had another episode last night. She fell out of bed, and was screaming and complaining about her clothes, tried to take them all off. Then it was the blankets, then it was the sheets. We have a cocker spaniel almost 2 yrs old, she wanted him, he laid on her pillow, she yelled, get him off, she put him next to her, she didnt want him there cuz he was pushing her off the bed, so she pushed him, then screamed because his nail scratched her. Yelled at me that I hate her, said she hates her life. I tried to comfort her… no way, that wasnt happening. This went on for 2 hrs, I was so frustrated. She finally was so exhausted, she fell asleep.
She was diagnosed with Night Terrors when she was about a year old. Now that she is older they are different. She wakes up crying and complaining about whatever is touching her. She screams and screams. Usually they last about 5 mins. But right now she is overstressed in her life. Her mom just told her she is pregnant so Trinity is worried about who is gonna take care of the new baby.
Jackie Belich says
Wow! I wish I would have had this information 2 years ago. My soon to be 3 y.o experienced these and I had no idea what they were. I told my doctor who just brushed these to the side and never had an answer for me. I’ve never felt so helpless (besides when my son had a surgery at 4months) it really wasn’t until about 6 months ago, he had one of these and i was talking to another mom who suggested night terrors, sure enough I looked it up and he met all the criteria. Thanks for being an outreach/support to other parents going through this:)
Jamie says
Jackie — I know how not only helpless you can feel, but just like a bad mom. I felt so bad, I was complaining about it all the time, but no one understood, everyone compared it to nightmares and shrugged it off like its happens, yeah, deal with it lady. Once I figured it out, it was SUCH a relief.
Off topic, but what did your son have surgery for? My oldest had surgery when he was 5 months old and yes, that’s probably THE MOST helpless a mom can feel.
Angie says
I have three year old B/G twins. Our son was the perfect sleeper until he hit the age of about 14 months, then started with the occasional night terror–we read up on it, did everything we were supposed to, to a tee. When it started happening nightly, sometimes several times a night, well–it was terrible. I kept trying to ask our doctor for ideas, for help–but they kept telling us we were doing everything right, that he would just have to outgrow it. After over a YEAR of little sleep, for everyone in our family, and our marriage being on the brink of disaster b/c of it–I had an epiphany. He had terrible reflux as a baby (outgrew it at about six months), and I noticed he still occasionally spat up–kind of weird for a two year old. I asked the DR to prescribe his reflux meds again, and within three days’ dose, he was back to sleeping through the night again. I feel terrible now, knowing he was in pain for so long, but am so glad we found a solution. Even now, when he has something too acidic before bedtime, he will still go into his “terrors,” but I know it’s diet related when he’s coughing and choking. Something everyone should pay attention to, especially if there’s been a history of acid reflux. Apparently, the body produces the MOST acid around 10pm (I have no idea why), usually the same time night terrors also tend to kick in. I am confident he was having/has night terrors, but they were/are induced by the acid indegestion. Our lives have improved 110% since making that discovery. Bottom line for us was: follow your gut; doctors don’t know your kids as well as you do.
Rashmie @ Mommy Labs says
My daughter has had this (night terror) for 2-3 times at 5 years and then at 6. The first time, it went on for hours – till wee hours in the morning! I didn’t know then that it was night terror. But when it happened again a few months later, I figured a way out of it.
What I would do was – I would bring up a topic from that very day – about something that we did together – activity, play, joke. I would start talking in a very casual matter of fact manner as if I’m having a chat with her. I’d continue talking bits and pieces about our day and then I’d ask her a question related to it – like – do you want to do this tomorrow, too? What shall we do with that pink paper? and some more. I’d continue till she would come back to normalcy and respond!
This has worked the couple of times that it happened since then…
Angie says
We found that helps bring him out of it a bit faster, too. We usually end up talking about spaceships, and our neighbor alien, “Andy.” :)
Suzi says
Our spirited son is prone to night terrors if he is overtired or overstimulated. So we’re careful with his naps and makes sure that he has lots of opportunity to run off the “manics” outside if he gets overstimulated (such as after a birthday party). If in doubt we take him for a walk outside before bed. So far, so good. :D
Megan says
My now 4 yr old had night terrors since she was not quite 2 years old. We discussed it with her DR after she had 3 in a week. The first thing we noticed was she usually needed to pee. She was potty trained and would pee on us as soon as we picked her up. After she turned 3 night terrors left, but they turned into sleep walking – so that is something you might want to watch for. My kids go to bed a few hours before we do, so we were always awake during her episodes. We watched her one night as she attempted to walk right out the back door – we installed top locks ASAP. She is 4.5 and still sleep walks.
maryanne @ mama smiles says
Something that worked wonders with my son’s night terrors: saying, very calmly, “You had a scary dream.” instead of “Shh, it’s okay,” or something along those lines. HUGE difference.
Night terrors are always difficult, I’m grateful that they have never lasted for more than a few weeks at a time with my kids.
Sharon Riebel says
You are very fortunate they only lasted a few weeks with your kids. It’s incredibly draining and my youngest son had them three or four times a week for almost two years. We could never do anything but sit with him while he went through it. I wish I had known this kind of support when we were going through it, I had no idea how common it was.
Amy says
That doesn’t sound like night terrors, then. As someone who has dealt with it for YEARS, it is a sleep disorder. And it’s not a scary dream. As I’ve described it to others, “It’s more of a ‘terror’ for the parents than the kids.” They don’t remember anything in the morning.
maryanne @ mama smiles says
It might not be technically night terrors, Amy. I just added the comment hoping it would help someone else.
JDaniel4's Mom says
This is so scary! This post is wonderful! Parents that are struggling with these are going to learn so much from it.
Karin says
My daughter had night terrors from the time she was a few months old until she was about 4 or 5 and as she got older they became fewer and further between. It was terrifying for me when she was an infant because she would be completely limp when I picked her up. I found that as she got older, the best thing to do was to just stay calm and comfort her the best I could and wait for it to end. She is now 13 and she hasn’t had one in many years but she often does talk in her sleep and she is definitely
someone who is unpleasant if she doesn’t get enough sleep. They do grow out of it and it does get better.
Jesseka says
My son’s night terrors sound like Cassie’s sons’. He would scream and call out for me but would look right past me like I wasn’t there. I could hold him and try to comfort him but it was like he was in a different world. It’s heartbreaking (and stressful) knowing he’s calling out for me but I can’t comfort him. Then after all that, in the morning he doesn’t remember it at all when I’m all exhausted and stressed. what?! He’s had them for a few years now so it’s a [little] easier to deal with but he doesn’t have them that often. My heart definitely goes out to the parents that deal with it often.
Vanessa says
My son is 8 and occasionally has a night terror. This has toned WAY down from when he was younger. Thank goodness!! I can understand your pain and frustration. There is literally nothing we can do except what you mentioned already.
We did notice that he cannot have anything unnaturally sweet at least 2 hours prior to sleeping. So no dessert unless we eat it early. :) Fruits seem to be okay and that’s what we try to offer him if he has a hankering for something sweet an hour before bedtime. Also, he only wears a t-shirt and underwear to bed. If he wears anything more, he gets too hot and ends up having a night terror.
I read an article years ago (can’t remember where) that people who have night terrors have them because something wakes them up but they never fully wake up so they get caught between an awake and sleep state. When my son was 3 he had night terrors every night and it ended up being because he had to use the potty at night, but never fully awoke. At that time, we didn’t give him water before bedtime and it drastically reduced his episodes.
It sounds like you are aware of possible solutions and that’s awesome!! Just keep trying different things because something may be triggering his brain to stay too active at night possibly causing the night terrors. :)
CASSIE says
My son Kendall now almost 5 started having night terrors when he was 2. I felt horrible when they started. He’d cry and call for me, but would never recognize me. Always looked past me and my husband as if we were not there. On a few occasions he would look past me and say “I hate you.” I know he didn’t mean it but it was still hard to deal with. After a year and a half of having them every night they slowed down to a couple times a week. Now they happen maybe once or twice a month. Hang in there this to shall pass.
tanya says
I don’t know how religious people are but my cousin was having night terrors and his mom would sprinkle holy water on their child before bed and the night terrors stopped.
MHarris says
Our fabulous pediatrician recommended that for two straight weeks, we wake up our son (who had been having night terrors on and off for over a year) a couple hours after he fell asleep. Around 9 or 10 pm. We made sure he was fully awake by turning on the light and made him eat something small or drink water. It disrupts their sleep pattern and they are able to start a new pattern. After doing this for two weeks, he has not had a night terror in over a year! Dealing with them was such a challenge, maybe this will work for someone else, too.
Jamie says
I’ve heard of waking them up, but wasn’t ready to do that since we’re pretty sporadic with having them. How often did you son have them?
I hope that’s the solution that many can use!
heather says
EVERYONE:::::
READ THE ABOVE COMMENT!!!!
It can work!!! After about a year of this, sometimes 3-4 times a week I was at the end of my rope. Finally my ped gave me the number to a pediatric sleep specialist. I called to make an appt. On the phone this is what he said I should try first and if that didn’t work, then to come in. This restarts their sleep cycle, allowing them to be more fully rested when they get to stage 3 of sleep. Often their brains have not fully calmed down when they get to this stage, causing terrors, or more commonly sleep walking/eating. OMG, it really worked for us.. within a few days!! Try it!!! Really, what could waking your child up for a few minutes hurt?? Especially in comparison to what’s going on? I wouldn’t wake her for long…just to say good night (hehe), take her potty, sometimes I would turn on her lamp rouse her with a short story…it was calm and peaceful. She even got kinda used to it. I was afraid to stop!! I think I did it for about a month or two….completely gone!!
Christy says
Thank you so much for writing about this! I’m not the only one! We think (knock on wood) that my son is FINALLY finished with his night terrors. He had them when he was older than most children, I think – he’s 7 now and had them, give or take, 3-4 nights a week for over a year and a half. It’s been over 2 months since the last one, whew! I was lucky (ha!) in that while my older son didn’t have them, I’ve been in the childcare profession for over 15 years now so I’ve dealt with night terrors before so I didn’t panic (once I realized what they were, I didn’t panic, I should say!) about them. The worst time? The worst was my husband being away, and me sitting in my bath water, turning off the running water to hear blood curtleling (how do you spell that anyways?) screams coming from my kid’s room. Looking back on that, I’m glad the kid was totally asleep cause the sight of his butt naked Mommie rushing out of the bathroom to save him might possibly have traumatized him more than the terror……
Jamie says
Oh no! I can only imagine hearing those screams while relaxing so nicely in the bath! That would end that in a hurry – and thankfully, they don’t remember! I’ve heard they often occur in children up to 12 years of age – but I don’t know how common that is either. I’m glad ours only happen about twice a month – so I can’t complain – it has been getting more frequent lately though, so I hope we don’t get them more regularly. Just a couple times a month takes it out of me. I feel for you dealing with it many times a week!
Nichole Kriewall says
My son had these too. Sometimes they would last up to an hour and a half because we didn’t know to leave him alone! Once we found out to leave him alone they wouldn’t last more than 10-15 minutes. Luckily, most kids DO outgrow them. He seemed to once he hit 3 years old. Of course, he has had a couple of them this year (he is 4) but an occasional one is better than nightly!
Jamie says
That sounds exactly like this house! We had no idea to just let him be! 3 years old seems like a long ways away for us… hopefully it’ll end before then ;) Occasional, I can handle though.
Niki says
I have 35 month old twins. My daughter has had night terrors sporadically for about a year. The worst was the week I volunteered for VBS at our church and they spent those days in the nursery. They were exhausted and I’m pretty sure that was what triggered them. She’s just had another tonight, after having spent the weekend with her grandfather (who decided they didn’t need naps while they were there). Touching her only makes things worse. Tonight she was hitting me and thrashing about. It’s SO hard not to touch her when all I want to do is comfort her. Especially when her brother is only a few feet away in his bed and almost always ends up being awakened by her screams. It is comforting to read that doing nothing is what we should be doing. It feels so helpless, but anything we try only makes things worse.
Jamie says
I do think being overtired is the most common trigger for us — but not always either, that’s what makes it frustrating, trying to figure that out!
We’ve thought about moving our boys together in the same room, but I’m hesitant to mainly because of these episodes. How does your son manage?
Niki says
My son sleeps through most of them. The ones that last longer will wake him up, but we can usually settle him back down. Every now and then we end up with two screaming toddlers on our hands. Of course, they’ve been sharing a room since before they were born, so they really tune out each others’ noises. There are times when my son has nightmares (not terrors, thank goodness) and my daughter sleeps right through those.
Jamie says
That’s ‘lucky’. As lucky as you can get in that situation at least. The two screaming toddlers at once, I don’t think I could handle. Especially in the middle of the night during a night terror.
Renelik says
Hi there,
My boys have a problem with night terror too. Just to extend some support to you that I can understand how hard it can be. It seems to be getting slightly better for me as they get older but not eliminated totally. Hope your boy will grow out of it. Understanding how it all work out really makes it more manageable but every episode of it is so draining and painful.
Jamie says
Thank you. It really does help to hear that others have experienced it too. Its so frustrating! How old are your boys?
Renelik says
My boys are 3 years old twins. Night terrors still “visit” every now and then. On days when they skip nap, the visit is almost a sure thing. Hang in there!
Jamie says
You too! Thanks!
Darcy says
I have 4 troll twins. My son had them at a few weeks old and continued until 3ish. Same symptoms….what helped us thru them was turning the tv on low without lights on and sit next to him. He hasn’t had one in a very long time, maybe a year. The triggers we noticed…..he has sensory processing disorder and if he got over stimulated during the daywe could bank on a night terror. On bad days we would have multiple terrors. The good news for us and hopefully you is he has grown out of them! Thinking of you as I would cry right along side of him.
Valerie @ Glittering Muffins says
That’s what I thought Nico had too for a while but the a few things differs: he will let me touch him and hold him then pushes away, he wants down to stand and walk around crying for a bit then comes back to me. He doesn’t thrash around. He does that a few times. So I’m not sure if it’s those anymore… The rest of the “symptoms” are the same as yours.
Rebekah @ The Golden Gleam says
Valerie, it could still be a possibility. The behavior may vary a little with each child.
Valerie @ Glittering Muffins says
I thought so Rebekah, I normally just go with the flow and it lasts about 10-15 min. I hate when it happens though he looks so lost. As I was typing this answer he had one. This time he hugged me back when I got there, then he just sat there screaming, crying and kicking in his bed, at one point he started to kick me and Alex even though we just sat there. I asked him something and he answered, so I knew he was snapping out of it. The more it went one the more violent he became. I asked him several things and he answered. Then he came back to me and hugged for a while. I had to get him snapping out of it quickly so we had the big light on. He was chocking and coughing like crazy since he’s just finishing a cold. So it’s night terrors I guess :-/
Jamie says
oh ick Valerie. With a cold too would be so terrible. Just remind yourself that you’re doing everything you possibly can. And it’ll be okay.
Jen Fischer says
We dealt with these two, and it finally got better when we realized that we had to just let them run their course and not try to interfere (but make sure he was safe). We couldn’t figure out any reason for these either, but I definitely agree that the biggest help was knowing and understanding what they were b/c they are quite terrifying and not knowing makes it worse. A big thing, too, that differentiates them from nightmares is that the child (thankfully) has no recollection of the night terror episode the next day. Good luck! (Ours happened with a boy at about the same age – FYI).
Jamie says
Why knowing and understanding what something is makes it better, I don’t know… but it really really does. It helps so much to hear that others have experienced it too, so I greatly appreciate you taking the time to tell me your story.
Yes, and thankfully, they don’t remember!
Kelly says
I think knowing helps because before I knew, I’d try to step in and help and would take it very personally when my child would not accept my efforts to console him or hug him. Now I just sit there quietly, hold his hand (which he lets me do) and whisper that he’s safe and with mommy.