Parenting : On Motherhood

Were you a natural when it came to motherhood? I wasn’t. 
Read on to hear the story of Angelique of AngeliqueFelix.com, on becoming a mother.
 
A wonderful post is written and shared by 
Angelique at AngeliqueFelix.com – The Magic of Play
“I am not afraid, I was born to do this” 
- Joan of Arc, heroin of France



The beginning

Before you start reading this post, you should know that I ADORE my child. She is the treasure of my life. Nothing or nobody can ever take her place in my life!


[First unforgettable real kiss!]

I could stop here.
But I don’t.
I have to share an important message.

For ME it’s not true that motherhood comes naturally, that we women are born to be moms.* Even though I am a professional, working with parents and children mostly every day, this didn’t prepare me for my own motherhood. I have the courage to say, now after some years, that becoming a mother made me lose my way…. AND I am very grateful for having lost that way! [continue reading to find out why...]

I also found out that I am NOT alone, I read this sentence in an interview with rock star Alanis Morisette:

“I remain baffled at how little I was prepared for what was to come. These things required months of growth and calibrating! And here I naively thought that I would arrive as a MOM at the same time as my lil’ boy arrived as a SON. “

[This island called 'Pregnant woman']

Parents you become, I absolutely believe in that now.
As a newborn parent I travelled through many experiences, before I could say: AHA, this belongs to me, and this is not me!

The start of a journey
This is my “list” I was going through:

    • The books about parenthood, especially with chapters like ‘put your child on it’s belly, when it’s still loving so much staying on it’s back’. I gave them all to the local library – for free!

 

  • The good advices from othersread family, doctors, teachers. I respectfully learnt to say : ah, oh, really? yes, thank you so much! and then do it in my way. I know my child the best and (now) trust in my competences.

 

 

  • The change of my bodyabsolutely talking about having “hanging” kind of bodyparts. Wow, this was, and still pops up, a tricky one. But I will not step into the trap of becoming a stranger in my own body. My partner says: “You are beautiful” and I answer: “Yes, I am!”.

 

 

  • Multitasking all the timejuggling between the household, the preps for my workshops, the writing, the being mom and woman. Praying sometimes that all social media will just collaps and we go back to handwrited cards or letters. I am letting go of the fact that numbers are important: google analytics or how many people are “talking about me” on Facebook. I choose now to blog and social media when my daughter is not around. Her presence makes me slow down and roll over the floor while playing with each other.

 

 

  • Not being involved anymore in a “JOB” A thing you do, a responsibility. So many things are worth doing, those that bring joy to you. Some only bring money, some friends, some surprising experiences. But it somehow has to be done. My job now is being full of joy, spending my time playing and creating. Or better said, spending my time in BEING who I am.
  • Being in complete control of the baby-situation.My thoughts and actions would look like this: “I should let her eat more, I must make her fall asleep now [in dark rooms, with doors closed], I must do courses with her, She must always be in my life, her education belongs to me.” I wanted to push my child, but she rebelled, with her whole being, little as she was and is. I had no chance as to accept reality: My child is an independent being. I cannot [and I don't want] to control the situation. I just create a safe space for her where she can express herself who she really is. what does not mean, that there are no borders.

 

My wish for you my child is to be free ♥

The end….
I thought having a baby was all about the child. I found out that a new me was born at exactly the same time. My journey of growing up proceeds with every day lived in a fully and conscious way. I start to understand who I am and why I do what I do. What a beautiful celebration!


Thank you for your time,
Mother – and therefore automatically heroine, Angelique Felix for my inspiring playmate Jamie at hands on : as we grow.


* I write about motherhood but please don’t feel excluded if you are a father reading this. Feel free to let me know how you, as a man, experienced the entry of a baby in your relationship.


About Angelique Felix
Angelique Felix creates safe spaces where parents can play with their children (0-6 years old); where children learn in a FUN way; where adults encounter their inner child.
Angelique is a Certified Infant Massage Instructor (International Association of Infant Massage). More information can be found at http://www.AngeliqueFelix.com – The Magic Of Play.

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Comments

  1. crittersandcrayons says

    Beautiful, angelique, and very true!!! I still feel like I learn every day….great post and very honest. And you are beautiful! :)

  2. Having Fun says

    Very nice article. How to be a mother is something learned. I love being a mother. My daughters are 2 and 4 and I still learn something new every day. It's a learning process, but it's wonderful. My children have brought meaning into my life. Without them my world wouldn't be as bright.

  3. Joyce says

    Wonderful post, Angelique! You are so right and I know that I am still growing as a mother. I am still having to rethink what I know and adapt as the days go by. Thanks for sharing such an honest and lovely message.

  4. Joyce says

    Oh, and I absolutely adore the picture of you and your daughter on the beach. All of the pictures are sweet, but that one made me all teary. Haha. So sweet!

  5. Chrissy @ The Outlaw Mom Blog says

    Well-said! Lovely post, Angelique :-) Even though you might have always envisioned yourself to be a mother one day, that does not necessarily prepare you or automatically "make" you a mother the day your newborn arrives. It's such a growing process for both mother and child and when you let your child be free – like you said – and let yourself be free, too – it all magically falls into place…finally! For me, it took a few years :-)

  6. Ali says

    Lovely post. I know when I was pregnant with my first child I spent a lot of time thinking and preparing for the birth but not a lot of time thinking about what happens when that little baby has been born – what a shock! It has been a learning experience like none other since then.

  7. Rashmie @ MommyLabs says

    O my – Angie, what a lovely, inspiring, read! Your words tug at the heart and makes one sit up and think…

  8. Angelique Felix says

    Dearest friends and readers of this article,
    Thank you for stopping by and leaving me your feedback. It was not easy writing all and on the other hand it was ;) To be honest takes some courage, especially being true to yourself. It was a great confession time and hopefully inspirering for others to always keep on believing that new challenges can be done! Keep on breathing and trusting in you.
    Thank you Jamie for oening up your blog for me (and being patience with pictures and changes).

    Love from your friend, Angelique

  9. Jill @ A Mom With A Lesson Plan says

    What a wonderful post! I was born to be a mother, it was natural for me… but I know how hard it was even though it fit me so perfectly. When a pregnant woman comes to me with doubts, I always smile and say "The only thing that matters is that you have confidence in yourself… you'll know what to do, or you'll figure it out."

  10. Marciemom says

    When I have a new born with eczema, it really came as a total new learning experience, not just of taking care of new born but of a baby who can scratch hard and long incessantly. I also thought before I expect to have a 'normal' baby that my life would be dull. Having my baby has turned me to a passionate person – passionately sharing about eczema on eczemablues.com, passionately setting up fund to help other eczema kids, passionately and creatively illustrating books for kids and teens with eczema. I've never been filled with so much purpose in my life!

  11. Angelique Felix says

    It's true that believing in ourselves makes everything possibile! I relate very much tot hat sentence dear Jill and I hear you Marciemom when you have the drive to share about eczema.
    It was great to start my morning with lovely comments as yours Kraft Max Originals!
    Love , Angelique

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